Charles Spurgeon, one of the most influential pastors of the 19th century, is remembered for his powerful sermons and profound impact on the church. Yet behind his success, Spurgeon carried deep emotional wounds. At one of his packed services, a false fire alarm caused a stampede, tragically killing seven people. Spurgeon was devastated, and the emotional toll of that day stayed with him. Over time, chronic illness and relentless criticism worsened his struggles with depression. His hidden wounds were an unseen burden that he carried in silence—yet they shaped his ministry in profound ways.

Like Spurgeon, many pastors today carry hidden emotional wounds, often without realizing the extent of the impact these wounds have on their lives, relationships, and ministries. The pressure to lead, shepherd, and project a steady image can force emotional pain deep beneath the surface, only to resurface in damaging ways. Healing these wounds is not just vital for a pastor’s personal well-being but essential for the health of their ministry.

In this post, we’ll explore how hidden emotional wounds take root in the lives of pastors and offer practical steps for healing, drawing from insights in Chuck DeGroat’s Healing What's Within. These wounds may be invisible, but they are not inevitable, and there is a path toward restoration.

The Weight of Hidden Wounds

“Where do I find myself today?” Chuck DeGroat uses this simple question to help people reconnect with their inner life. It echoes God’s first question to Adam and Eve in Genesis 3: Where are you? It’s an invitation to become curious about what’s happening beneath the surface of your life, to reconnect with your heart.

Many pastors have become experts at managing appearances. Whether it’s greeting a congregation with a smile or responding to, “How are you?” with the standard, “Everything’s fine,” pastors are often expected to have it all together. But behind the scenes, many are struggling with deep emotional wounds. Burnout, exhaustion, relational tension, and feelings of inadequacy slowly build up over the years, and these burdens take a toll.

In chapter 1 of Healing What's Within, DeGroat describes the “fog” of disconnection that creeps into the lives of leaders who feel like they’re running on empty. You may remember a time when you felt more alive, connected, and free in ministry, but now, you find yourself exhausted, wondering how you got here. Over time, hidden wounds accumulate—betrayals, unresolved conflicts, harsh criticism, or the emotional toll of shepherding a hurting congregation.

These wounds don’t go away by ignoring them. Instead, they can lead to disconnection from your family, emotional exhaustion, and ultimately, burnout. But there’s a way forward, one that begins by acknowledging the wounds you carry.

How Hidden Wounds Manifest in Ministry

When emotional wounds go unaddressed, they manifest in ways that affect a pastor’s ministry, relationships, and leadership. Here are a few common ways these wounds show up:

• Emotional Exhaustion: You may feel drained, unable to find joy in ministry because you’ve been pouring out without receiving care yourself. Over time, this exhaustion can lead to deep discouragement and a lack of passion for your calling.
• Relational Disconnection: Hidden wounds often create emotional distance between you and the people closest to you, including your family. You may find it harder to connect meaningfully with those you love, as the pressures of ministry pull your attention away from home.
• Perfectionism and Control: In an attempt to avoid dealing with your emotional pain, you may try to control every aspect of your life and ministry. This perfectionism only adds to the exhaustion, as you feel the need to maintain a flawless image.
• Feelings of Inadequacy: Even when things are going well externally, you might struggle with persistent feelings of inadequacy, convinced that you’re not measuring up to expectations—yours or others’. This internal narrative can leave you feeling like a failure, even if others see you as successful.
• Burnout: When emotional wounds are left untreated, burnout becomes inevitable. You hit a wall, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, feeling like you have nothing left to give.

These manifestations don’t just affect pastors on a personal level. They ripple out into the life of the church, creating unhealthy dynamics within relationships, leadership teams, and the overall health of the congregation. A pastor who is emotionally depleted or disconnected can’t lead with the wisdom and compassion that their congregation needs.

A Path Toward Healing

The first step toward healing these hidden wounds is recognizing that they exist. Pastors often feel a sense of shame about their struggles, believing they should be able to handle the emotional toll of ministry on their own. But healing begins with vulnerability—acknowledging the places where you’ve been hurt and seeking help.

Here’s how you can begin the journey of healing emotional wounds and leading a healthier ministry:

1. Embrace Vulnerability: Healing starts when you admit that you’re struggling. As a pastor, it can feel difficult to let your guard down, but there is strength in vulnerability. Share your struggle with a trusted friend, counselor, or spiritual director who can walk alongside you. You don’t have to carry the weight of your pain alone. DeGroat emphasizes the importance of reconnecting with your inner life: “God’s ‘Where are you?’ invites you to pay attention to what’s happening within.” This is an invitation to name your struggle and begin the healing process.
2. Seek Professional Help: Pastors are used to providing care for others, but they need care too. A counselor or therapist can help you explore the emotional wounds you’ve been carrying and offer guidance in the healing process. It’s not a sign of weakness to seek professional help—it’s a vital part of being a healthy leader.
3. Reclaim Rest: Ministry is demanding, and without rest, burnout is inevitable. One of the most radical acts of healing is reclaiming rest. Take regular time away from ministry duties to restore your body and soul. Sabbath isn’t just a suggestion—it’s a rhythm designed to keep you healthy. When you take time to rest, you allow space for healing.
4. Prioritize Emotional and Spiritual Health: Healing emotional wounds involves more than addressing the pain—you also need to rebuild habits that restore your emotional and spiritual well-being. Whether it’s journaling, prayer, solitude, or physical exercise, make time for practices that nourish your soul. As DeGroat writes, “You don’t have to tread the impossible terrain alone anymore. It’s time to unburden yourself.” Healthy pastors cultivate rhythms of renewal and restoration that allow them to lead from a place of strength and joy.
5. Rebuild Relationships: Many pastors experience relational isolation as a result of hidden wounds. Healing involves reaching out and rebuilding relationships that bring life, honesty, and support. This could mean reconnecting with family, finding a community of fellow pastors, or cultivating deep friendships where you can be vulnerable.God calls us to connection. Just as God sought Adam and Eve in the garden, asking “Where are you?”, He seeks to restore the broken relationships in your life. Don’t try to heal in isolation—let others into your journey.
6. Remember Your Identity: Above all, healing comes from remembering who you are. You’re not defined by your ministry’s success or failure, but by your identity as a beloved child of God. DeGroat reminds us that God’s pursuit of us is a reminder of our deep worth, belonging, and purpose: “God runs to you, to show you compassion, to offer you the ring, the robe, the sandals, and the feast.” Your identity isn’t found in what you accomplish, but in who you are in Christ. When you can rest in that truth, you’re free to lead from a place of security rather than striving.

The Impact of Healing on Ministry

Healing your emotional wounds is about more than just feeling better—it’s about becoming a healthier leader for your church. As you experience healing, your ministry can flourish with new life and vitality.

When pastors prioritize their emotional and spiritual health, their churches benefit. A healthy pastor leads with compassion, wisdom, and clarity, creating an environment where the congregation can also grow in health and wholeness. On the other hand, when a pastor is burned out or disconnected, it’s difficult for the church to thrive.

Healing also enables you to lead with authenticity. When you’ve faced your own struggles, you can lead others through theirs with greater empathy and understanding. Your vulnerability creates space for others to be honest about their own wounds, fostering a culture of grace and healing within the church.

Moving Forward: Healing for You, Health for Your Ministry

The journey to healing begins with a simple yet courageous step: pause and ask yourself, Where am I? Take time to reflect on the emotional wounds you’ve been carrying and the ways they’ve impacted your ministry. You don’t have to keep running on empty. There is a way forward.

As you take that first step, remember that God meets you with compassion. He’s calling you to come home—to reconnect with your heart, to rest in your true identity, and to lead from a place of wholeness. Healing your emotional wounds is not just about finding personal peace—it’s about leading a healthier, more impactful ministry for the glory of God and the flourishing of His people.

If you’re ready to start your journey toward emotional healing, I’d love to help you take that next step. Let’s work together to ensure that your ministry thrives as you pursue health and wholeness in every area of life.